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[#0077:] and leave him there
Super serious post about Super Junior M (or rather, Henry) is super serious and also long.
Jesus fucking Christ on a purple pogo-stick. I swear to God this is the only fandom that can make me shed angry tears of rage just for existing, which probably says alot about me and my investment issues right there, huh. Admittedly, this is why I've stepped back from it for the last month or so (until Henry's fantabulous solo in Taiwan dragged me back kicking and screaming, but that's neither here nor there). Because basically, that's what you do when you're in something of a toxic relationship to something (or someone). And then it hit me like a fucking rhino wearing a toga. For Henry and Zhoumi, there is no stepping back.
For people not in the know, I'm referring to the Shanghai Super Show held on the seventh and the sixth of March. The vitrol the ANTIs (and by this time, I really, really can't call them ELF anymore, I realize this) spewed those days were awful, the worst it's been this year and, dare I say it, the year before. There are ANTIs who will defend what they did with the same BS we've heard before (ie.; it's only because we love Hangeng so much and are disappointed that he isn't here, it's to make sure SM knows this, it's nothing personal against either Zhoumi or Henry, honest!) but again, I call bullshit. It's pretty fucking obvious that the chants for Hangeng were always loudest when either Zhoumi or Henry were on-stage and singing. I'm not even going to mention the jeers of "GTFO" and "get off Super Junior's stage". It even culmulated into Siwon telling the fans to shut up when curtain call came around (you don't want to know how much my respect and love for that man skyrocketed, no, you don't).
When Siwon is telling you to STFU, you STFU and reflect on the fact that it was Siwon, all-around nice guy and crowd pleaser Siwon, who told you to.
Anyway, long story short and the reason for this amazing piece of teel dear, Henry snapped fantastically. It's all over everywhere, I feel, and the baidu bar has been going insane with support messages and people freaking out, but.
I feel relieved. It's been a long time coming, and I always figured it was going to be sooner or later. His silences, his letting Hangeng and Zhoumi speak for him and his stance on the ANTI-movement during every interview ever (no, seriously), I felt that spoke of all the disgust and hurt he didn't want to give voice to, and reading his message, I guess I'm right.
On that note, I can understand perfectly where he's coming from, why he would write this now, because (going on a bit of a tangent and arm-chair psychologist route here) after the rush of the Taipei Super Show (which was a-fucking-mazing, and I've never smiled so much through a Super Show ever), it must have been such a fucking disappointment to go back to Mainland China, to have to deal with the same old fucking crap he's been dealing with for up to four fucking years now, and I don't begrudge him it, and I'm ridiculously proud of him for speaking up in such a polite and civil way. (Oh my God, seriously. I'd have always pegged him for the affable, silent type who'd just go red with rage at one point or another. I'm glad he felt that he could share it with the Strings in such a peacable manner. YEAH, ILHSFMRN.)
So, I don't know. I'm happy and sad and angry and about everything inbetween at the moment. And also not making that much sense. I've tried to leave a message at the baidu bar, but unfortunately my babelfish-fu just isn't up to the task of not being totally fail at getting anything posted on there. So, I'll just use this dusty, old space.
Jesus fucking Christ on a purple pogo-stick. I swear to God this is the only fandom that can make me shed angry tears of rage just for existing, which probably says alot about me and my investment issues right there, huh. Admittedly, this is why I've stepped back from it for the last month or so (until Henry's fantabulous solo in Taiwan dragged me back kicking and screaming, but that's neither here nor there). Because basically, that's what you do when you're in something of a toxic relationship to something (or someone). And then it hit me like a fucking rhino wearing a toga. For Henry and Zhoumi, there is no stepping back.
For people not in the know, I'm referring to the Shanghai Super Show held on the seventh and the sixth of March. The vitrol the ANTIs (and by this time, I really, really can't call them ELF anymore, I realize this) spewed those days were awful, the worst it's been this year and, dare I say it, the year before. There are ANTIs who will defend what they did with the same BS we've heard before (ie.; it's only because we love Hangeng so much and are disappointed that he isn't here, it's to make sure SM knows this, it's nothing personal against either Zhoumi or Henry, honest!) but again, I call bullshit. It's pretty fucking obvious that the chants for Hangeng were always loudest when either Zhoumi or Henry were on-stage and singing. I'm not even going to mention the jeers of "GTFO" and "get off Super Junior's stage". It even culmulated into Siwon telling the fans to shut up when curtain call came around (you don't want to know how much my respect and love for that man skyrocketed, no, you don't).
When Siwon is telling you to STFU, you STFU and reflect on the fact that it was Siwon, all-around nice guy and crowd pleaser Siwon, who told you to.
Anyway, long story short and the reason for this amazing piece of teel dear, Henry snapped fantastically. It's all over everywhere, I feel, and the baidu bar has been going insane with support messages and people freaking out, but.
I feel relieved. It's been a long time coming, and I always figured it was going to be sooner or later. His silences, his letting Hangeng and Zhoumi speak for him and his stance on the ANTI-movement during every interview ever (no, seriously), I felt that spoke of all the disgust and hurt he didn't want to give voice to, and reading his message, I guess I'm right.
On that note, I can understand perfectly where he's coming from, why he would write this now, because (going on a bit of a tangent and arm-chair psychologist route here) after the rush of the Taipei Super Show (which was a-fucking-mazing, and I've never smiled so much through a Super Show ever), it must have been such a fucking disappointment to go back to Mainland China, to have to deal with the same old fucking crap he's been dealing with for up to four fucking years now, and I don't begrudge him it, and I'm ridiculously proud of him for speaking up in such a polite and civil way. (Oh my God, seriously. I'd have always pegged him for the affable, silent type who'd just go red with rage at one point or another. I'm glad he felt that he could share it with the Strings in such a peacable manner. YEAH, ILHSFMRN.)
So, I don't know. I'm happy and sad and angry and about everything inbetween at the moment. And also not making that much sense. I've tried to leave a message at the baidu bar, but unfortunately my babelfish-fu just isn't up to the task of not being totally fail at getting anything posted on there. So, I'll just use this dusty, old space.
An Open Letter To Henry:
(aka, Boy, Listen To Me)
Even if I'm half-way across the world, I love you so fucking much, you don't even want to know. I know a large part of the message you wrote isn't addressed to the people who love you and support you and there isn't anything we can do or say to make all the stupid and the hurtful people go away, but I still want to say that we're listening, we're here and we understand perfectly. Thank you in return for being so honest with us, for being so headstrong through it all, and for being, you know, you. :)
I wish I could give you and Zhoumi a big internet-hug, but well, these words will have to do.
Please be happy and brilliant and keep doing what you love, Zhoumi and you both. I love you guys. No matter what happens, no matter what paths you both will take. ♥
If the world gets to be too much, just breathe for awhile.